


dark paradise

by underthesamesky



Category: Little Mix, One Direction
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Implied Cheating, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-11-08 04:33:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11074143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underthesamesky/pseuds/underthesamesky
Summary: Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together. OR Louis and Harry had been inseparable for 8 years, things start to get complicated.An Engineer Harry and Architect Louis AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is my first ever larry fic and I've been thinking about doing this for a loooooong time. This is obviously inspired by one of my favorite movies and it's loosely based on that. Hope everyone likes it!

"You're really beautiful." Jake breathes. "Your boyfriend is such a lucky man." He says, swaying on his feet as he approaches Louis. He drops to his knees in front of the couch the blue eyed boy is sitting on. He places his head on his arms, looking up at the beautiful man above him with eyes as soft as his pillows.

"Really?" Louis asks, shyly. Jake nods, offering him a small smile. "Because that's not something he would normally tell me." Louis utters, hugging both of his knees close to his body. "You're just saying that because we're both drunk." He smiles, poking Jake's cheek with his finger.

Jake sighs deeply, "How many times do I have to tell you?" He says, laughter in his voice but tone serious. "You're kind, strong, intelligent and really talented too, you're so sweet and you put others first before yourself. Fuck—you're perfect." He emphasizes, staring Louis right in his eyes. "Any man who takes you for granted is an asshole." Louis blushes, blaming the alcohol for his inappropriate behavior.

"You're just being nice." Louis says timidly, looking down on his socked feet. "But thank you, Jake. Feels good to hear that." He looks up at the man before him and offers him a small smile. Jake mirrors him and strokes his jean covered leg with his fingers.

It's silent after that and Louis feels the room spinning. He sees stars and he imagines he's one of them. He wants to be one of the stars, he thinks, because they're pretty and shiny and everyone adores them. He wants to shine bright. He wants to feel important. He frowns at the thoughts running in his head and he blinks a couple of times, trying to escape the delusions of his mind, his veins sipping on the alcohol and making him dizzy and sad. When he looks up, Jake is leaning towards him and he's so close to his face. 

"What the fuck. What do you think are you doing?!" He exclaims as he pushes Jake off his body. His face flaming from embarrassment and anger. He stands up and looks for his coat and shoes in the dimly lit apartment and hastily puts them on.

Jake scrambles from his position on the floor, trying to reach out to Louis. "I-I'm sorry, Lou. But I thought you wanted to—" He stops as he sees the expression on Louis' face, sad and confused. "Please don't leave." He says sullenly, standing defeatedly with his arms limp on his sides.

Louis looks up, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "I have a boyfriend!" He screams. "His name is Harry, remember?!".

Jake stands there, defeated. "But you said you weren't happy with him anymore." He says, voice soft.

Louis takes a deep breath, fumbling with the laces in his shoes. "What I said was that I wanted to change my life." He mumbles while lacing up his shoes. "You know that's not what I meant." They have a dinner party with his best friends tonight yet Louis' here having an emotional breakdown. He should've stayed back in their apartment, he should've just listened to Harry.

Jake moves towards him while he's putting his shoes on and stands in front of him, placing his hands on Louis' shoulders as they come close. "Yes, I knew that. That's why we're here." Voice gentle as he tucks a piece of Louis' hair behind his ear. Louis looks up at him through his eyelashes, a small smile on his lips, maybe tonight isn't such a disaster after all. "That's why I brought you here in my apartment." He says as he slides his hands from Louis' shoulders to grip his waist loosely.

His face falls, "What?!" Louis says appalled, realization dawning on his features. "I never said I wanted to have sex with you!" He removes Jake's hands on his body and steps away. "I said I wanted a place to stay because I was drunk. Fuck." He steps back and rubs his temples. "I don't want to have sex with you!" He exclaims again, running past him to the door and opening it, hurrying down the corridor to the elevator, not even glancing back at Jake when he shouts, "we're still friends, right?" He wipes the tears on his face as he's inside, thankful there's no one else with him. He retrieves his phone from his pocket and dials the number of the only person he trusts. 

A few rings later and still no answer from his boyfriend he grows even more frustrated. "Harry...please pick up, please." He shivers as he stands outside Jake's apartment, wiping the few tears escaping his eyes. "Fuck." He dials his number again, Harry ignoring his calls and he sniffles as he hugs his hands on his body.

"Louis!" He hears Jake say, running towards him and gasping for air. He's still in his work clothes minus his blazer and a few undone buttons. Louis looks at him defeatedly and Jake smiles at him kindly, approaching his trembling form. "Hey, you forgot your coat." He says gently, he wraps it around Louis' shoulders and pats it after he's done. "Let me drive you home, okay. Where are you heading to?" Louis hesitates. "Hey, no, none of that. I understand, it's fine." He smiles kindly, allowing Louis to nod his head after he thinks it over his head, Jake leading them both to his parked car.

 

As soon as they arrive, the first thing he sees is Harry standing in front of Niall's house, his face looking like he's about to murder someone. Louis bites his lip nervously and hesitantly turns to Jake, thinking of a way to tell him to stay in the car and just let him handle everything when the car door shuts in his face. He suts there stunned as he sees Jake walk towards Harry. He scrambles to get out and runs towards them, almost slipping on the wet ground.

"Nothing happened." Jake raises his arms in surrender. "I just wanted to take him home." He says as Harry angrily approaches them, ignoring him to grab Louis by the arm as he tugs his body towards him.

"You sure pal?" He says as his grip on Louis' arm tightens and Louis winces. "You don't want to get your arse beaten up, do you?" Harry continues on, anger bubbling in his chest and he lets go of Louis' arm as he pushes Jake to his car. "Touch him again and you'll never see the light of day." He points his finger on Jake's face, nostrils flaring, his hands in fists by his side. Louis' eyes widen, he runs towards them and grabs Harry's shirt.

"Stop! Harry. Please! We didn't do anything! He was just taking me here!" Louis pleads, pulling on Harry's shirt to get his attention. "Please." He says more quietly, Harry turns to him and scans his face, backing off Jake. "You weren't answering your phone. I kept calling you." Harry opens his mouth to speak, Louis rolls his eyes and steps between them to talk to Jake, frustrated. "Thank you for the ride, Jake. Go home and get some rest." He mouths a 'sorry' as the taller man makes his way back to his car. He sniffles as he watches Jake go, he turns and runs inside the house as soon as the car's gone, leaving Harry by himself outside.

When he enters, Perrie immediately runs to his side. He can see the pity written all over her face and he feels embarrassed. He hates when his friends sympathize him. "Come here, sit down while I get you some Panadol, okay?" Says her melodic voice. He buries his face in his hands.

Niall enters the room holding a beer, "I don't want to talk to him." He tells him. "Can you please let him stay away from me?" Louis says as he starts crying again, he wipes his cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater, burrowing his face deeper on the couch as he lies down.

"Of course. Anything for you, Lou." Niall says, rubbing Louis' back reassuringly as he walks outside. "C'mon Li, let's go get Harry." Liam immediately stands and follows, planting a kiss to Louis' head as he moves. It's just another normal night when they all get together. A dinner party they all arrange, which ends up in Harry and Louis somehow fighting. It's all routine to them by now.

 

Niall dials Barbara's number, the cold wind hitting his face and he shivers. "Babe, it's Harry and Louis." He sighs through the phone.

"Again?" Barbara asks coolly. "Just let them break up. It's always been bubbling up to this point, hasn't it? I'm sure they're both tired."

Niall laughs, "Ssh, don't say that. Harry will have a meltdown. Now get your pretty arse up here. We need 'ya." Barbara mirrors his laugh, telling him she's close and he puts his phone down, still smiling. When he turns around, he sees Harry nursing a beer with Liam on the balcony. He sighs, and he approaches them, thinking this will be another long night for them.

"Do you want us to beat him up? Because I'll do it." He hears Liam jokingly say as he reaches them upstairs, Harry leaning on the railing and gulping the beer in his hand in one go.

"Nah, he'll get his chance." Harry replies as he places the alchohol on his hand on the nearby table. 

"If you want, we can beat him up until you don't feel frustrated anymore." 

Harry scoffs as he remembers their little exchange outside after Louis came in the house. "The nerve of that guy to even get mad at me! I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend yet I'm the bad guy!" He kicks at the pebble near his shoe, annoyed. "They must have had a go at it back at his place." He grabs his beer and takes another large gulp. 

Liam turns to face him then, brows furrowed. "Pal, why would you even think that? I know your relationship with Louis isn't the best right now, but," he pauses as he shrugs, wiping the condensation on his bottle with his hands. "What if nothing happened? What if they were just hanging out, yeah?"

Harry looks at him, eyebrows raised, his anger rising. "What do you mean 'if' nothing happened? What if something did?" He asks, voice going an octave higher, his heartbeat running wild in his chest. "Fuck!" He turns around, heading to open the door to the patio and confront Louis when Niall stops him, hand pushing on his chest.

"Relax." Niall gives him a new beer. "Stop acting like this is all Louis' fault. You were at Jasmin's hotel too a while ago." He rolls his eyes at him. "You two are ridiculous."

Harry shrugs, anger dissipating. "We weren't doing anything. All we talked about was Louis and how frustrated I am with all of this." He moves both his arms around and fixes his bun. He smiles. "And also 'cos she's hot."

Liam whacks him on the head. "That is exactly the kind of thing Louis hates! And you still hang out with her. She's desperate."

Harry furrows his brows. "Jasmin and I have been buddies since high school. We were supposed to have dinner. The three of us. But Louis had to be a drama queen and go with that guy." He spits.

Niall leans into the railing. "Maybe he just needed someone to talk to. Since you won't." He looks at Harry, one eyebrow raised.

"In his apartment?! For fucks sake! If they needed to talk then why did he have to go there with him?!" Harry says hysterically. "They must've done something behind my back." He groans, frustrated.

"Harry, do you seriously believe Louis would do that?" Liam says, voice gentle in the cold night. "You know he wouldn't." He stares at Harry, eyes emphatizing. He cracks open another beer and looks at his phone. Zayn sending him updates on Louis and him sending updates on Harry.

"I don't know." Harry says, resigned. He's now sitting with his back in the railing, looking up at the starless night.

Niall massages his shoulder, exhaling, "Just say sorry, H. Knowing you, you can't even stand being away from him that long. You both know no one's at fault here. You need to communicate. You guys are so tiring!" He exclaims.

Harry looks up at him, an annoyed expression on his face. "Why would I say sorry? I did nothing wrong. He's the one that should be apologizing to me!"

"Oh, fuck off. You're so full of shit, Harry. You're letting your anger think for you. Try to think about Louis for once." Liam tells him. Ready to punch Harry in the face and bring some sense into him.

 

 

"I just wanted him to be there for me this one time." Louis sobs. "I was so mad at my boss and I just wanted him to listen to me, you know?" He wipes the snot from his nose and leans into Perrie. "But did he come? No! And he cheated on me!" 

"Lou, it's Harry. We all know he can't stand the thought of hurting you." Perrie says while wiping Louis' tears, wrapping her arms around him and brushing his hair that's flopped down his eyes. "And stop being so jealous over Jasmin. He's been Harry's friend for as long as I remember. If she wanted your boyfriend, she would've done it a long time ago and she didn't because she respects you and your relationship, Lou." She smiles as Louis looks at her and kisses his shoulder.

"Why don't you just explain to him why you were at Jake's apartment." Zayn says softly, rubbing circles into Louis' legs. They're all crowded around his body, Perrie on his left hugging him, Barbara on the edge of the sofa holding his hand and Zayn on the floor by Louis' legs. 

"But he never listens to me!" Louis shouts, "He always has to be right and I'm always wrong. What's the point?" He deflates, looking at his friends with desperation. 

"Correct." Barbara mutters.

Perrie gives her a look, she turns to Louis and says, "But it's only because you let him get away with it, Lou." She gives his shoulders a relaxing rub, voice hushed as she tries to comfort her friend. 

"Because I love him!"

"If that's the case, then just apologize to each other so we can all go to the wedding. Yay." Zayn fist bumps the air and kisses Louis' knees.

Louis looks at him mournfully. "Why should I apologize, Z? I didn't even do anything wrong." He frowns as he plays with the frayed edges of his sweater.

"And this is why they always fight!" Barbara exclaims exasperated after biting her tongue all night. She turns towards Zayn, piqued. "How can Louis even get married to someone so possessive," she waves her hand around, "so selfish, so clingy—"

"And he never listens." Louis adds meekly, not looking up from his hands.

"See?!" Her voice squeaking, trying to get the point across to Zayn and Perrie. "Harry loves him so much that he's suffocating him!" She points to Louis who has been full on crying by her side. "They're just hurting each other."

Zayn scoots closer to Louis and whispers sweet words in his ear, Barbara's voice getting louder as Perrie shushes her. His phone buzzes in his pocket. It's Liam. He moves to the other side of the room. "Hello? What? Don't let him go in here, Louis is a mess. Then stop him!"

"—and also so controlling!"

"Who's controlling?" Harry says as he enters the room with Liam and Niall in tow, eyes red and hair a mess. They both shrug when the girls and Zayn raise their eyebrows at them. Everyone sighs and Perrie holds Louis tighter to her chest. "Is it me?" He asks Louis irritated. When no one answers he speaks, voice filled with anger. "You know, Louis, you're so fucking stubborn."

Louis lifts his head from Perrie's chest, he stares at Harry, hurt, and says, "I told you to come with me but you refused, Harry." He says meekly.

"Yeah, 'cos you had a date with Jake." He says livid. His blood boiling at the thought of Louis in another man's arms.

Louis stands up from the couch and steps towards him. "Me and Jake didn't do it, Harry! How could you even think that of me?" He trembles, from anger, from hurt, from being so tired.

"Oh, and what were you doing in his apartment then, Louis?!" He spits. "Thumb wrestling? Well that's great!"

Louis' eyes widen in disbelief. "How dare yo—"

"Stop." Perrie shouts as she stands between them. "Can we all just talk about this please?" She begs. "Jake accompanied Louis because you couldn't be there and you weren't answering his calls. So they got drinks and Louis got pissed so they went to his apartment because Louis was feeling rather ill. That's it, Harry."

Harry takes a deep breath, his anger rising due to alcohol and irrationality. He looks at his boyfriend and sees his small frame looking tired, his baby blue eyes red with tears. He wants to come over and wrap him in his arms. But Harry never really listens to his heart sometimes, he can't erase the thought of Louis with another guy. His inner mind telling him that he should win, that he always has to have the last say. He knows Louis would never do such thing and he feels bad, but he never really knows how to deal with his emotions so he says, "Lou, if you're going to lie to everyone at least make it good." He cringes at the words slipping out his mouth. He sees the hurt in his boyfriend's eyes, his heart constricting and his hands itching to just grab him.

Zayn butts in and calmly tells him, "H, just listen to Louis please. Let him tell his side of the story." He places his hand on Louis' shoulder and squeezes. "Why don't you try and be understanding for once."

His blood boils. "Understanding? I'm not understanding?! And who's understanding, Louis? Is it Jake? Is that why you went with him then?"

Louis stares at him in disbelief and shakes his head. He can't believe Harry's behavior tonight, he's tired and there's no use ruining everyone's night even more. He says resigned, "You know what, Harry, this is pointless." He walks away, Barbara and Perrie immediately following him, the remaining boys all shaking their heads at Harry.

 

 

Louis is back at their apartment, forcefully stuffing his bag with his things. They had to cancel their little dinner because once again, Louis and Harry had to fuck shit up, he feels bad. He goes around the whole place, grabbing what he thinks are his things and throwing them inside as he continues to ignore his boyfriend. Ex. Whatever. Harry's standing in the living room, staring at him sadly and following him with sad eyes.

"What?!" He stops, annoyed. He hates when Harry does that face, he knows Louis can never resist him and that just fuels his frustration even more.

"C'mon, Lou, just say it. You want to break up, right?" Harry begins, evidently still angry from tonight. When Louis doesn't answer he throws his hands up. "Fine. I'll give it to you. Let's break up then!" Louis feels his eyes water again, but he carries on grabbing things in the room, ignoring him.

He's about to get the green teddy bear from the shelf when Harry utters softly. "Hey. That's mine."

"You can't take this. It's my favorite." Louis' voice trembles. "I want it as a souvenir."

He continues putting things in his luggage, he doesn't even know where to go after this. It's too late to take the bus and go home to his Mum so he'll probably try bunking with Perrie until he gets sorted out. He's about to grab the toothbrush when Harry mutters, "That toothbrush is mine, I bought it."

He stares at his face angrily and shoves it to Harry's chest. "Here. Take it." Harry takes it from him and peers on his luggage, he picks up a pink sweater. "And this? This is mine. These too." He says as he picks up a bunch of polaroids. Mostly him and Louis with their family, a bit of Niall and Perrie and the others here and there.

"Fine. Take that too. I don't care." He's about to take the old CDs and vinyls and Marvel magazines on the table in their living room when Harry comes to his side and grabs the CD.

"Wait, wait, wait. This is mine." He says while holding up The Script's CD.

Louis takes it from his hand and says, "No it's not. You gave this to me as an anniversary gift 2 years ago." He refuses to let the item go, he holds it tight in his hands.

"Fine! It's all yours! Take it, then." Harry huffs, irritated.

Louis sees red at that. "We're already breaking up and you still want to be in control! Leave me alone!" Louis cries, "Just go away." He runs to the nearest window and scrubs a hand on his face, suddenly feeling so tired all of a sudden.

He hears footsteps approaching and sees a shadow coming closer. Harry grabs him by the waist and turns him around. "Lou, that's enough." He hugs him and cradles his head in his hands. "I love you." He says as he gazes in his deep blue eyes. "You're so fucking stubborn and annoying and really impulsive. But I love you, Lou. A lot." He murmurs, fingers caressing Louis' lips.

He immediately softens at that and wraps his arms around Harry and lays his head on his chest. Louis sniffles. "I love you too." He says into Harry's shirt, trying to keep his voice low.

Harry smiles, "I heard that." And hugs Louis tighter. They just stay there swaying to an unknown tune, Harry planting kisses on Louis' head, rubbing his back and holding him against his body. Louis playing with the threads on Harry's sweater.

"Harry. C'mon let me go." Louis says as he remembers they were supposed to be fighting, thinking he needs to be in control for once.

Harry shakes his head. "Please put everything you took from our bedroom back to it's place." He cradles Louis' face and brings him closer to him as he pouts his lips. "I'm sorry. I believe you now. I was a dick and I panicked. I should've listened to you in the first place. I'm sorry, baby." When Louis doesn't reply, he slowly brings his lips to Louis' and brushes them together.

"Nothing happened between me and Jake, really." Louis softly says while tucking his face to Harry's chest.

"I know, Lou, I know, and I'm sorry. I'm such a dick." He tickles Louis, making him giggle and move away from him. "No, come back here." Louis runs to their bedroom and he chases him, always chases him. Louis is his golden star, his sunlight. He makes the darkest parts of Harry's life brighter. Harry doesn't know what he would do without him. He's scared that one day Louis might truly leave him for good. He smashes their lips together once he finally catches him. He knows deep down he's been a shitty boyfriend lately, knows that he has failed to make Louis feel special and he's mad that the relationship he's been trying to make perfect is falling to pieces one by one. 

So he kisses him harder, grips him even harder, makes sure Louis will see the bruises and remember who he truly loves, who he chose to spend the rest of his life with. His hands travel to Louis' arse and he squeezes really hard, it makes Louis whimper out and rut into his thigh. He runs his hand down Louis' crack while he slips his tongue in his mouth and finds Louis' hole over his jeggings. He pushes down and rubs on it through the fabric. Louis squirming in his arms and moaning out against him. He removes his hand from his jeggings and brings it inside his briefs, he rubs his hole with his dry finger and pushes down until the tip pops in. Louis squeaks, "Harry! We h-haven't even properly made up yet. You're just distracting me." He pouts.

Harry removes his finger and bites his lip. He adjusts himself in his sweatpants and gets off Louis, he kisses him on the head when he hears his phone ringing. "It's my boss. I have to get up early tomorrow." He says while rubbing softly over Louis' shirt. "Or rather, in a few hours." He checks the time, it's already 3:15 in the morning.

Louis sighs, "You're tired, Harry." He says as he crawls over him and massages his shoulders. "You didn't even get enough sleep. Can you skip work today and just chill at home with me?" Louis gives him a hopeful smile. A day with Harry sounds amazing to his ears, he's hoping they can talk about their relationship but also, he wants to spend some time with him. He's missed him and this is the longest fight they've had, it's been building up for days. He bites his lip, "We can do anything you like." He whispers and slides his hand down to Harry's abs. Fingers already twitching with anticipation. He's missed being intimate with Harry and he misses feeling close to him again and being pounded on the mattress. He wraps his legs around Harry's waist. Looking like a toddler on his boyfriend's back.

"Baby, I need to go to the site tomorrow. They need me." Louis lets his arms and legs fall and collapses on the mattress. Of course. Louis rolls his eyes as Harry turns to look at his lying form. "Lou, you know I'm doing this for our wedding, right?" He lays next to Louis and brushes his hair off his face. He brings his lips to Louis' and he moves his face away. "What?" Harry asks, confised.

"I'm exhausted, can we just go to sleep please?" Louis mutters, turning to stare at the wall.

Harry squeezes his hips. "C'mon, Lou, everyone gets tired. From work, from everything. What is it, babe?" Harry asks as he kisses the back of Louis' head and says softly, "Is this about Jasmin?" 

Louis turns and glares at him. "No. Don't be so full of yourself, Harry." He turns around and lies on his side of the bed. "You know it's not about that."

"Then what is it?" When Louis doesn't turn around and keeps facing the wall, he says, "I love you, and you love me. What seems to be the problem? Nothing, right?"

Louis squeezes his eyes shut and stops himself from crying. "Yeah. Let's just sleep, H." He says, trying not to let his voice wobble. He feels the bed move as Harry crowds behind him and holds his waist. It's when he hears Harry's soft snores that he allows himself to shed some tears.

 

 

"Wake up, sleepy head." Louis' woken up by Harry brushing hair off his face and kissing his nose. "It's going to be a busy day. You don't want to be late." Harry says cheerfully and boops Louis' nose. His boyfriend looks so adorable in the morning with his bed hair and soft hazy blue eyes in the early morning sun, he can't help but brush their lips together. "We have to get by Jasmin's later and buy her a "sorry gift", c'mon get up, baby. Or you'll be late again." 

"I don't want to go to work." Louis mumbles. His body feels so heavy and his eyes are puffy from crying all night.

"Why? Are you sick?" Harry says worriedly and checks Louis' forehead for his temperature. His face already contorting from fussing over Louis.

"It's just that....about last night...." Louis tries to say. "I was saying..."

"You can't miss work, Lou." Harry furrows his brows. "Isn't your presentation today?" He lifts Louis up from their bed and helps him stand. "You know how temperamental your boss is. Do you want to get fired?" Harry asks, clueless.

Louis sighs as he stares at his boyfriend's face, he's tired and Harry has once again decided to brush everything down the rug like nothing happened. "Alright. I'll go to work." He says softly. He drags his body to the bathroom. It's 7 A.M. and he already feels like crying again.

"That's a good boy." Harry says proudly and blows him a kiss. "I love you!" He hears him shout from their bedroom. He frowns as he starts ridding himself of his clothes. He sees the bruises Harry left last night and he touches them. He's always been Harry's little puppet, hasn't he? He shakes his head and starts showering.

 

 

When Louis gets out of the shower, he sees Harry making his favorite eggs on toast. He rolls his eyes but he smiles at Harry's little way of apologizing. "Smells good." He says as he approaches Harry. "You really didn't have to. Thank you." He hugs him from behind, at the end of the day, he is Louis' first love, he has offered himself to him and he can never resist him. He loves his boyfriend and he cuddles him tighter to his body.

Harry turns around and coos, "You're welcome. Isn't my baby the sweetest?" He pinches Louis' cheek and kisses him breathless on their tiny kitchen floor.

"That's why I keep telling you to buy him a ring already before he changes his mind." Louis says breathlessly after their kiss. "What if he realizes he doesn't want to marry you next year? Or ever?" He tells him and Harry turns around to add some butter to the bread in front of him.

"Does he still need one though?" Harry puts the bread down and lifts Louis up as he puts him on the counter. "He doesn't need one because I'm too perfect!" He squeezes Louis' arse and pushes his hands under his shirt, kissing his lips again because he can't get enough of his tiny boyfriend.

"You're so sure of yourself, aren't you?" He wraps his legs on Harry's waist. "I know he's not going to buy me a ring because it's too expensive." Louis bites his lips and kisses Harry. Twirling his hair on his fingers. He moves away and licks Harry's nose. "That's why you should've taken the job in Seattle, so you could buy Louis a proper engagement ring." He hugs Harry and sighs on his shoulder, swinging his legs back and forth, he knows this conversation is a sensitive topic to Harry but, well, someone has to bring it up or else.

They stand there for a few minutes. Not saying anything to each other, just breathing each other in. The unspoken truth about their relationship hanging in the air between then. "Alright. It's time to go." Harry says, voice rough.

 

 

Him and Harry have decided to meet at his workplace that afternoon. He sees him carrying a bag of their lunch and kisses him as he comes near. Louis may be mad and there's still things they have yet to solve but he still loves his boyfriend and at the end of the day, he can never resist him. Harry still reminds him of the 16 year old boy he met at school and he smiles a little.

"You didn't take the train?" Louis asks when Harry carefully places their food on the table, removing each one from the styrofoam as he puts them on the plates in the little room for employees to have their lunch in.

"No, because if I would've then I can't follow your schedule."

Louis makes a face at him. "Then I shouldn't have brought my car then. We're wasting gas. I could've went with you." He picks up the plastic fork and starts eating from his plate. Few minutes pass of them quietly eating when Louis brings the conversation up again. "You should've took the job. That was great offer, Harry." He slowly drinks from his tea, Harry never fails to forget to bring him one at work everyday.

"Do I really have to go there though and leave you here to earn money?" Harry says while carefully chewing his food and looking at Louis. "Besides we both have jobs here." He shrugs.

Louis purses his lips. He clears his throat and hesitantly says, "What if I want to quit?" He's not looking at Harry and he continues to play with his food. He knows Harry hates it when Louis talks about resigning.

"There you go again. What are you going to do then, huh?" Harry says exasperated, he tries to keep his voice down and continues eating. "Are you just going to waste your college degree making t-shirts?" 

"At least they're my own designs!" Louis whisper yells. He suddenly doesn't feel like eating anymore. He drops his fork on the plate and pushes it away. Harry furrows his brows and brings the plate back to him, urging him to eat. He lets Louis get a few bites in before he speaks.

"Lou, baby, we're getting married next year. Do you think raising a family is easy?" He's getting mad now. The thought of Louis not giving importance to their future annoys him and Harry has been planning the marriage for years. "We need to be practical. You can't just quit your job."

Louis stops eating and turns his body to him. "Oh, so I can't make decisions for your job but you can make decisions for mine?" Louis says irritatingly. "Please!" He's glad they're the only ones inside the mini lunch room. He hates when people see that they're fighting again.

Harry stares at him. Fuming from anger and nostrils flaring. He's about to make a snarky comment when Amy, one of Louis' co-workers pops her head in. "Louis. Boss has been looking for you. He's getting mad."

Louis stands up then, grabs his plate and throws it in the bin. "Yeah. 'M coming." He goes out completely ignoring Harry. Leaving him to kick one of the legs of the table and sulk.

 

 

2 hours later. After a horrendous meeting and a presentation that his boss hated, Louis goes out to the back of the office and smokes. Jasper, his boss, hated everything and wanted to change all his designs. He wants to scream because he worked so hard into putting all his thoughts into that design. He thought it was modern and on trend but he guessed wrong. Harry helped him do his outline for the new pool and garden area in a beach outside town but mostly he didn't agree and wanted Louis to change the whole thing. He's beyond done at this point and he's exhausted. He doesn't even see the purpose of this job anymore. He throws his cigarette away, not even half finished.

Amy and Jon sees him outside later. Slumped on the wall. They both give him sympathetic smiles. Amy sits next to him and rubs his back. "If he wants to fire me, then he should fire me. I can't work with someone who doesn't even understand what aesthetics are." Louis says angrily. "I'm sick of this job."

"Why don't you just resign then?" Jon says. Finishing up his second stick.

"But then we know Harry will get mad." Amy winks at him. She continues to rub circles into Louis' back. Both of them have always been the closest at work. And Louis turns to her when he feels really low on some days. His phone rings and he sees that it's Harry. He stares at it for a long time. Afraid of getting into another fight. He sighs and answers on the sixth ring.

"Hey, Lou. How did the presentation go? Have you changed the plans yet?"

He ignores his other question. "H, I don't want to..."

He hears Harry huff on the other line and he holds Amy's hand tighter. "Stop being so stubborn, Louis!" He doesn't need Harry screaming in his ear right now so he ends the call. He doesn't have the energy to argue with him right now. He's still pissed at his boss and his stupid job.

"Aww, poor, Louis. I didn't know you got two bosses!" Jon laughs, he stops when Louis and Amy glare at him, screaming in pain as she kicks him in the ankle.

 

 

Later that night, they're all crowded for dinner at Perrie's place. Niall telling a silly joke about Barbara slipping on a tile yesterday. Liam and Zayn, being Liam and Zayn are too wrapped up in each other to notice everyone else. Louis grabs the chicken and tries to eat the crispy skin, his favorite. Just as he was about to put it in his mouth, Harry sees him, "Louis!" And grabs the chicken off his plate.

"Just this once." Louis says tiredly, silently begging Harry. 

"You know that's bad for you. That's cholesterol." And replaces the chicken with vegetable gumbo.

"Babe, just this once." He can feel his eyes start to water. He feels so frustrated, from his job and now this.

Harry faces him angrily. Still clueless about Louis' inner turmoil. "What's your problem?!"

Louis stares at his food. He's ready to just go home and wallow on their bed. He's so so tired. He wants Harry to leave him alone and let him do things for himself, just once. He wishes Harry would just let him breathe. "I need space." He mutters, robotically. 

"Space?!" Harry moves his chair a couple feet away from him and slumps his hand down on the table. "There. Space." He says while waving his arms around maniacally. Louis looks at him dejectedly and swallows the lump in his throat.

Niall whistles. "Lovers quarrel." While Barbara mutters under her breath, "Again." They both snicker.

Louis stands up and excuses himself from the table. He goes out silently, grabbing his keys from his coat and heading for his car. He's so fucking done today. From his job and from Harry being a complete asshole. He needs some time for himself. He needs to think and just breathe and not worry about anything. He doesn't even care if his friends find out he went home early.

 

 

"Haz, I thought everything was okay?" Liam asks. They're all gathered in the living room. Watching Dirty Grandpa per Niall's request. Everybody groaned but they couldn't decline, Niall won't shut up about it, says they needed a laugh tonight.

"Where's Louis?" Perrie asks after she looks around the room. "It's been 30 minutes."

"Probably in the bathroom. You know how he is." Harry says, acting clueless. He is confused and still mad at Louis but he's worried where his boyfriend is, he checked everywhere at the house. 

Couple minutes later, Perrie's phone beeps in the middle of a scene that has got Niall dying of laughter. She squints at her phone and pauses. "It's Louis. He said his car has broken down. Flat tire." She frowns at the screen and hurriedly finds her keys. "He wants me to pick him up." She announces to the room while running to get her jacket and hurrying to the door.

Harry gulps. He feels all his blood drain out his body when he checks his phone and sees no messages from Louis. "Why didn't he tell you, Haz?" Zayn asks him.

"Maybe because he was with another guy and he didn't want to get caught." Niall laughs.

"Oh, shut up, Niall." He's seething mad because Louis didn't text him, but he's still worried and he wants to be the one to help him. He runs to Perrie. "I'll do it, Pez. Let me go get him." He asks for the place he's stranded at, she reluctantly agrees and gives him the address.

 

 

He finds Louis sitting on the back of his car moments later. When he sees Harry he turns his head away. "What are you doing, why are you here?"

Harry feels like a knife has been stabbed deeply in his chest. "Because I'm your boyfriend." He swallows. Louis rolls his eyes and gets down the car, he unloads the tire at the back compartment. "If you didn't bring your car then we wouldn't even be here." He tries to tell him off.

He doesn't want to deal with this again tonight, his patience is running thin. The tire slaps on the ground and Harry hurries down to help him. "H, I can do this."

"Why did you text Perrie and not me anyway?" Harry's voice trembling when he asks. Louis ignores him, so he gets the tire and starts replacing the old flat one despite Louis' protests.

"Harry, I said, I can do this." He crouches down and tries to steal it from Harry but he continues to change the tire by himself. Louis stands on the road, feeling resigned, feeling so lost and exhausted.

"I give up, H." Louis finally says out of nowhere after minutes of watching Harry change his tire. There are already tears in his eyes. He doesn't want to do this tonight but he's had enough. "I don't even know if what I'm doing is right. But all I know is that we have to end this." He wraps his arms in his body, voice wobbling.

Harry looks up at him from his position on the car. "If this is about your job, Lou. I understand." He stands up and walks up to Louis. "I just don't want the years of studying and stress we endured and all the perseverance go to waste." 

"Harry," Louis looks at him, tears flowing down his eyes. "that's easy for you to say. You don't know what it's like to be in my position." He stands there patiently, trying to find the courage to finally speak out his mind. "You don't know how it feels like when your design that you poured all your heart to, goes to waste."

Harry grabs his face. "I know it's hard." He looks into Louis eyes. "But this is the only way for us to reach your dreams." He says softly. "Our dreams." He rests their foreheads together.

"Harry, but what if." Louis straightens himself. "What if this isn't what I want?" He asks him desperately. "What if I don't want to be an architect anymore?" He can feel himself slowly losing control, he's never voiced this to Harry out loud. "What if I pursued this because I fell in love with you?" Louis bites his lip. "What if we're not growing together anymore?" He pulls in a deep breath. "What if we could be happier? But we stick to—to this!" He points between then. "To what's safe? To what's okay?"

Harry stands there stunned to silence. "W-Where is this coming from?" The air inside his lungs seeming to leave his entire body. "Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know...but I do know something's wrong if I'm asking these questions." Louis wipes his face with the sleeves of his sweater and steps back. "It's almost as if.......as if there wouldn't be a Louis without a Harry." He says silently, bringing his eyes up to look at Harry. "I want to find a life and a job where I know my worth." Louis tells him painfully. His heart is breaking. He loves Harry so much and he's all he's ever known. It feels like that's all he ever knows, really. They were so young when they fell in love and Louis hates thinking that maybe Harry isn't his forever. Harry is his soulmate, his one true love. But why is everything so hard if the universe wants them to be meant for each other? He wants to scream. He feels so lost.

"I want things for myself." Louis tries to say despite his trembling heart. "Not just because you think it's the best for us." He tries explaining. "But I can't do that, H, when you've got everything planned out. Do you see the problem? I don't even know myself anymore." He says through his tears, "I can't even solve my own problems because you solve them for me." He cries harder, it breaks his heart to say this but he just can't take it anymore. "It feels as though I'm surrendering everything to you. It's suffocating me. It's exhausting." He comes closer to Harry and holds his boyfriend's crying face. "I want to stop wondering 'what if' and I want to know 'what is'. I'm so sorry, Harry. I can't do this anymore. Just let me go. Please."

 

 

They're inside Perrie's room. All freshly showered with ice cream on each one's hands. "Was I wrong?" Louis asks them mournfully. Stabbing the ice cream tub with his spoon. "Am I a horrible person?" He looks up at Barbara.

"Of course not!" She exclaims. "Go make up with him." She tells him as she rolls her eyes. "And then break up again....and then get back together again....and break up agai—"

"B, shouldn't we help them fix this?" Zayn says on the floor, ice cream all over his shirt. "Harry's our friend too."

"Zayn, they can't fix this if Louis is not okay. Look at him. He's a mess. His emotions are everywhere. I can't stand seeing him like this all the time. I just want what's best for him." Barbara waves her hands exaggerately. "And Louis will never be fine if he stays with him. Right, Lou?"

Perrie holds both of his hands in hers and says gently, "Lou, you know me. And you know I want the best for you." She caresses his face and kisses his hair. "But, I think this is what the both of you need right now." Louis tries to give her a smile. "Just try to be strong, okay. I know it's going to be painful and difficult. But hopefully the pain will be worth it."

They all hug him and tickle him. Ice cream going all over the bed sheet but they ignore it in favor of making him smile. He loves them so much, he doesn't know what he'll do without them and he tells them so. All three of them ruffling his hair and telling him how special he is and he's worth every diamond in the world. Louis smiles as Zayn turns on the TV, putting their favorite film on, and as he lets himself think, he tells himself he will be fine. That he'll get through this. He wants nothing more than to be better for himself, to get to know himself more. He wants to know who he truly is. He wants to be the star he always wishes he was. He wants to finally learn to love himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is up! Really excited for you guys to read this :) Tell me your thoughts!

The first thing that Louis finally does that he thinks he should've done a long time ago is quit his job. Even though his boss got really mad and almost threw a tantrum because they can't afford to lose one more worker, Louis allows himself a small smile. This somehow feels like a big weight on his shoulders has been lifted. He says his goodbye's to his fellow mates, he knows he will miss them. Especially Amy and he hugs her really tight. She mumbles, "I'm really glad you finally quit, Lou. I'm so happy for you."

He goes down to the underground parking lot, stumbling a little bit because of the heavy box that he's carrying. So far, this day has been great. Yes, he feels empty and lost when he woke up this morning, he was expecting to see Harry beside him in bed or in the kitchen. He had a little cry while he was eating breakfast, still shocked that he had done that and still worrying about how Harry is coping. He shakes his head, Barbara told him that he needed to think about himself and put himself first from now on. He's really trying. He takes a deep breath and opens his car door.

"Hey!" He hears someone yell. "Louis! Wait. What are you doing?" He stops in his tracks, almost dropping the box in his arms. It's Harry. He pretends not to see him and continues to put his stuff at his car, silently willing Harry to go away. 

"Lou, talk to me." He goes back inside, he still has one more box left at the door and he hurries his steps and tries not to look up, closing his eyes and ignoring him, he really doesn't want to see his face today. "Hey, wait up, Lou!" He'd rather be hit by lightning than confront Harry now. "Do you really want to get away from me that you have to do this?" Harry says when he catches up to him and walks by his side.

"Not everything is about you, Harry." Louis says. He really doesn't have the energy to talk to him or look at his face right now. He grabs the other box and hurries to his car. Harry still following him like a lost puppy.

"Then why are you doing this?!" Harry screams while Louis tries really hard to concentrate and put his stuff in the car without throwing it all on Harry's stupid face. He heads to the driver's seat and opens the door. "Lou! Please."

"Because this is what I want." He finally says as he starts the engine.

Harry visibly panics, he scrambles to the car's window. "What about us?" He says with tears on his eyes. Louis grips the steering wheel tighter. "What about all our plans?" Louis looks at him. "What about the wedding?" Harry says sorrowfully. "I thought you said nothing would change." He looks at his face, panicked and desperate, Louis wishes he could do something. His heart breaks a little as they gaze into each other's eyes, he can see the pain and he tries really hard to just not get out and come back to Harry's arms again.

He takes a deep breath, "There's no 'us' anymore, Harry." He tries to say through the lump in his throat. This has been the hardest thing he has ever done. He hates seeing Harry like this, he hates that he put that sadness in his face. He wants to get out of the car, take him back and kiss him senseless. But he has to put himself first this time. He knows he is not okay, there's a lot of pieces still missing. He has to do this for him.

"That's it?" Harry shakes his head. Disbelief evident on his red face. "Eight fucking years, Lou. You're just going to throw all that away? You're not even going to give me a chance to fix this?" Louis can't look at him anymore. He hates seeing the love of his life slowly deteriorate in front of him.

"I already gave the 8 years of my life into this relationship. It's about time you give me what I want, H." Louis says softly. He wants to reach out and touch Harry so bad. He pinches his arm instead.

Harry wipes the tears on his face. Louis hates that all they've been doing is cry lately. "But, Louis. You're asking for too much." He leans inside the car, their faces so close to each other. Louis wants to let go and let Harry in again. "You want to disappear from my life." Harry holds his face and Louis whimpers into his hand. "Baby..." Louis opens his eyes. "Even if it's hard, let's fix this." He brings his other hand to Louis' face and presses their lips together, licking into Louis' mouth like he's been starved. Louis supposes he is. "If this is about me being c-controlling....a-and boring, you know I'm trying, right?" Louis bites his lip, trying so hard to ignore his heart. He pushes Harry's hands away from his face, he starts backing up the car, crying from seeing his first love break in front of him. "Lou, wait! Just wait, Please." Harry begs. "I know it's easy to give up, but I know you're not a quitter. So, please, baby."

Louis looks down on his hands, he's shaking, his tears falling down to his legs. "I need this, Harry, and you need it too." He tries to say, he feels like someone is peeling off his skin. He hates the look on Harry's face and he hates it even more because he is the reason for that.

"But I need you, Louis." He screams. "Please!" Louis closes his eyes and begins to drive. He cries while he thinks about this. How did Harry and him ended like this? What happened, where did everything go to shambles. They were so happy and so in love. All they ever needed was each other and now, they're destroying each other. He can't believe they ended like this. He can't believe he's leaving behind his first love, his first everything. He turns on the radio and their song plays, he turns it off, cursing. He cries all the way to his drive home. He wishes things weren't the way they are now. He wishes his heart wasn't so broken.

_7 years ago_

_Louis sits on the bench at the back of the school grounds patiently waiting for Harry because he said he had a suprise for him. He giggles at the thought, still high from their little make out session yesterday in his room with his parents next door. He clutches the green teddy he bought from his spare money, excited to give to his boyfriend._

_"Hi baby!" He hears Harry shout, curls bouncing and holding a large bouquet of his favorite flowers. Louis' face hurts from smiling so hard. "Happy 1st anniversary. I love you soooo much!" Harry says when he reaches Louis, immediately bounding him up in his arms and smelling his favorite scent from his favorite boy._

_Louis laughs and squirms in his hold. "Happy anniversary, my sappy boyfriend." He gives the teddy bear to Harry and he kisses him, hard. They've been sloppily making out in the bench for God knows how long, Louis already flushed and flustered by just having Harry's tongue in his mouth and his touch all over his body. Louis backs away to breathe and says, "You're lucky Mum and Dan are going out with the kids tonight." He bites his lip. "We can, you know, later tonight if you want to." Realization dawns on Harry and his grip on Louis' waist tightens. "I want you to be my first, Harry Styles." He whispers seductively. Toes already curling. He's been waiting for this moment to happen for ages. He just wants to feel as close as he is to Harry right now, he wants to give him everything he has._

_Harry squeezes his arse. "Been thinking about it a lot, Lou. It's always on my mind." He licks his lips and starts sucking on Louis' neck. Hands everywhere as he touches his boyfriend inappropriately in public. He doesn't care though, he has a beautiful siren in his arms and nothing else matters. "I can't wait to make love to you, Lou. I'm going to make you feel so good, I promise." He smiles cheekily and kisses him again._

_Louis giggles when he feels rain starting to drop. " Get up, Curly! We're going to get wet."_

_"I know who's going to get wet tonight.' Harry wiggles his eyebrows suggestively._

_"Oh, piss off will you." He laughs while tackling Harry on the ground. The rain suddenly pouring on them. "Oh my God!" Louis shouts as Harry opens the umbrella he brought with him. Always prepared, his boy. They laugh when they both get under the umbrella. Smiling at each other and being so so in love._

_They stay at the bench sitting close to each other, hands intertwined and Louis' head on Harry's shoulder when he speaks, "Do you think in 10 years, we'll still be like this, Lou?" He looks down at his boyfriend with stars in his eyes. Eyes going soft at the sight of his wet hair and sparkly eyes. God, Harry is so lucky. Louis fixes his fringe and wraps his arms around Harry's shoulder'. Harry pouting because he can't use both of his arms to hold Louis back because of the umbrella._

_Louis smiles, big and bright and so sweet. "10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, forever and ever!" He shouts and holds Harry tighter. He kisses him under their little umbrella in the pouring rain._

_Harry brightens up and asks him when they pull out for air. "Promise?"_

_"Promise."_

Harry lies face down on the bed, only wearing his boxers and his hair a mess everywhere. He still hasn't showered, it's been five days but he doesn't care. He doesn't see the point. 

He's sharing an apartment with Niall and Barbara, Liam has decided to join them today for a movie marathon with some alcohol and weed. He hasn't been out in thirteen days. All he can think about is his Louis and how he misses him so much, he can't stop thinking about his beautiful boy, his soft hair, his pretty blue eyes, his soft skin and his smell. He groans on the pillow under him. 

Him and Louis have decided to put their apartment for lease since they won't be living there anymore but Harry holds on to the keys just in case, he still has hope that Louis is gonna come rushing back to his arms in a few days, that he'll come crying at their door asking for Harry.

Niall is standing by the door, burger in hand and laughing in Harry's face, or rather, in his case, his back. "Mate, you need to get your head out your arse and have some fun. Plenty of fish in the sea, as the saying goes." Harry grumbles. "What? I can't hear you over your pathetic state right now."

Just then, someone knocks on the door. "Oh, that must be Louis." Harry lifts his head up and runs to the door, almost kicking Liam in the process, his heartbeat wild in chest. He excitedly opens the door and sees that it's Barbara, carrying bags of groceries in her arms. He can hear Niall laughing somewhere. "Oops, not him." 

"You know what, I think we all need to go out tonight." Barbara tells the room while putting the canned goods on the counter. "You need to get back to the dating life, H." She says after seeing his state and she cringes.

Harry looks at her affronted. "And why would I even do that, B? I love Louis." 

They all look at each other, Harry, clueless as ever, goes to the fridge to get some water to drink. "C'mon, Harry. It's been three months. Just a night out. Just the four of us, having fun. Please? You haven't been out the apartment for weeks." Liam smiles at him innocently. Harry does feel like shit. But he will never say no to good beer.

 

Two hours later and a couple of drinks in, Harry's holding his phone and contemplating whether he should text Louis or not, his fingers hovering over the buttons on the screen. He misses him a lot and he hasn't heard from him since. He hates that he has no idea where Louis is or what he's doing or if he's eating well. He drops his head in his hands and groans. He thought tonight will help him forget but this just made him miss him even more every time he sees couples dancing and grinding on the dance floor. He thinks about the way Louis moves, how he's so confident with his body, how he can easily manipulate Harry's body and get him begging to touch Louis the time they go home. He stands up and runs to the bathroom, puking up all the contents in his stomach. He wakes up to a cold bed, an empty stomach and an even emptier heart the next day.

 

 

"Louis, where are you?" Perrie says on the phone three days later. They're all gathered again at Zayn's favorite restaurant to celebrate the weekend and their new paychecks. Harry's standing next to Perrie, hopeful that he might hear Louis' voice from the speaker. He's going nuts, he knows. "You broke up with Harry, not all of us silly." She playfully says and Harry bites his cheek, he does feel bad. He goes back to their table and gets a beer.

"Sorry, Pez, but I have to pass." Louis says through the phone.

Perrie sighs, "Okay. But we haven't seen you in three months, we miss you. Take care okay? I love you and I'll see you soon." She gulps as she turns towards everyone on the table, "Louis' not coming." She says sadly.

Harry's face falls. No, it's definitely his heart he's sure of it. He sits down and stays silent the whole dinner. He was actually looking forward to tonight, ready to see Louis' face again, he's missed his boyfriend so much. He furrows his brows. Ex-boyfriend, he tries to remind himself, although he knows he's still in denial sometimes and in his head, Louis is still his. He even wore Louis' favorite lavender sweater, he was hopeful that when he sees him he'll remember how much they love each other. He's ready for Louis to take him back and realize how being silly he is. He's counting down the days until Louis goes to his and Niall's shared apartment and tell Harry that he made a huge mistake.

"Li, what if I get sick," Liam turns to him confused, "and I end up in the hospital. Do you think he'll talk to me?" He says happily, Louis always gets so worried when something like that happens to him and he remembers that time he was sent to the Emergency Room because of a broken finger, Louis was crying and kissing his cheek all throughout their ride there, he even missed eating lunch and dinner because he didn't want to leave Harry's side. "He'll definitely take me back if I get sick."

Barbara laughs, "Sorry Haz, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything and I'm not even saying this to be mean," her eyes softening, "but he's not coming back. Were you even listening to the things he told you?" Everyone looks at him sadly, all quiet and looking guilty. He abruptly stands up, his chair scraping on the floor and he storms outside.

He wants to fucking scream, the realization that the love of his life might not be his anymore just dawned on him. He tried denying and kept telling himself that Louis will come to his senses soon, that he was just overreacting, but hearing his friends say it somehow made everything more real.

The rain starts pelting, gently slapping against his clothes and he just stands there, looking at the ground blankly and he thinks about Louis, always thinking about Louis. He loves him so much and it fucking hurts so bad, he feels like someone is peeling his skin off and dipping it in salt, his face crumples and he feels hot wet tears filling his eyes and falling down his face, when he looked around, his vision is blurry, unable to see past his tears and the rain.

He collapses on the floor. Is this really it? Is everything really over? He keeps asking himself 'what can I do?', 'how do I make things better?' His heart wrenching for his lost love. There's a giant Louis filled hole in his heart and he knows nothing will ever be the same until he's with him again. He looks like death right now and he doesn't care. He feels a terrible weight on his shoulders. It was as if a giant boulder was laid on him and he couldn't straighten up or catch his breath entirely.

"Harry!" Niall shouts through the rain after seeing his friend break down and lose himself. He's been standing on the pavement, watching him and asking himself who the person on the road is, that's not the Harry he has always known, and it breaks his heart seeing him completely disassociate from reality, "It's just a boy." He screams towards him.

Barbara checks on them and sadly smiles at Niall, rubbing his back, he doesn't know what to tell his friend anymore. He knew this would all be a disaster, Louis has been Harry's world for as long as he knows. He's afraid Harry will never recover from this and just keeps on destroying himself.

 

 

He's driving home after a job interview, burger on his hand as he munches happily, he wipes the sweat on his forehead with his arms and turns the AC on high. It's awfully hot today and Louis really hates getting sticky. He decides to take the long way and turns to the subdivision that holds houses that pique his interest, he really needs some inspiration for something he's working on. He's about to turn and check the newly constructed houses next block when something catches his eye, his jaw drops slightly, the house in front of him is beautiful.

It was built nicely with a Victorian edge to it. Under the sun, it gleamed a deep grey, with silver ivory running along the edges outlining the house. The house in general, gave a feeling of calmness to all who passed by. He places his burger on the drivers seat and stops the car, he grabs his camera in his bag and gets out of his car.

It had three floors total, crystal windows popped out of every direction, but didn't -amazingly- make it looked over-rid even if the whole house was covered in it. Lastly, indentation's of small figures were carved into a surrounding line outside the attic window. He's in total awe. He calmly and happily takes pictures, he wants to be reminded of this beauty and possibly dream about it too, he's always loved beautiful things and little details people put in their designs.

"Can I help you?" He hears someone say and turns towards the voice, "Are you lost?" The stranger asks with a bemused smile on his face.

"Huh?" he says confused. "N-no I'm not." He puts his camera down. Slightly embarrassed at being caught.

The stranger laughs, "That's what it says on your shirt." Louis looks down and chuckles, shocked that this man even noticed the print on the shirt he was wearing. He fixes it unconsciously. "So, what are you doing here?" Stranger says, smile still on his face.

"Oh, um," Louis says flustered, "I'm just looking at the house." He points at it uselessly.

Stranger rubs his chin and squints his eyes, he crosses his arms on his body and asks Louis playfully, "So. What do you have to say about it?"

Louis' eyes lit up as the corners of his mouth turned, his whole face showed the amusement he had for the moment. He stares at the house and ponders, his face relaxed and his eyes twinkling. "Well first of all, I think this house is owned by a man without any plans to start a family." The words easily slipping on his tongue.

"Why do you say that?" Louis looks at him, the stranger looking preplexed but overall cheerful.

"Well...the house is not kid friendly," he continues, "It has too many edges and the materials are too masculine. If I were the architect, I would suggest to lessen the edges, and put more curves to balance it out." He drums his fingers on his camera and adjusts his fringe.

"Maybe that's why my ex-boyfriend left me, he said exactly the same thing when I designed this house. That I had no plans in settling down." He looks at Louis with a large smile on his face, both hands on his hips. He inhales deeply and inspects the house.

Louis' face goes slack, mouth slightly open, body unmoving as he stares wide-eyed at the man next to him, "This is your house?" He yelped, the pitch of his voice getting higher.

"Damien Cham. The guy who has no plans to start a family." He extends his arm out to Louis, grinning from ear to ear. 

Louis accepts his handshake and turns to walk away, suddenly feeling very nervous at their awkward meeting. "Um, I-I have to go. Nice house by the way." 

As he was opening his car door, Damien speaks, "You're an architect, right?" And Louis nods. He extends a card and Louis accepts it, reading the contents written on it. "I'd actually like to hear your creative input. We have an opening at the firm but there's only just a few of us there so you have to work longer hours, is that okay with you?" He asks, a hopeful look on his eyes. 

 

Tuesday morning has Louis standing in front of his little cubicle, his things already placed in his little area and he sighs happily. He accepted Damien's offer, they've even hung out with a few of his co-workers for coffee before he started, everyone making him feel so at home.

His new boss, a tall and kind woman named Crista, told him he'll have more hands on experience and may have his own project soon. Which makes him even more delighted for having a chance to showcase his skills and finally create one of his designs.

He sits down on the chair in his office and arranges his stuff, all haphazardly scattered, he doesn't care though, he's so happy, and for once he can finally say he did something with his own decision.

"They say it's bad luck to display your boyfriend's picture in your office." Louis jumps at the voice. "You'll break up." It's Damien, and he's wearing a close fitted yellow button down and tailored black chinos. Louis tries not to ogle him and grabs the picture frame that's laying face down on his table.

"It's empty." Louis corrects, a little smile on his features.

"But there was a picture there before." He retorted back cheekily.

Louis nods. "Before. Maybe that was why you and..." Louis thinks for a moment, wracking up his brain up for a name. "Oh! Gene! Is that why you and Gene broke up? Because you placed his picture on your table." He chirped, voice radiant.

"If only that were the case." Damien lamented. "Then I can fix it easily. The problem is, I suddenly became unsure." He says as he leans on the little entrance to the cubicle.

Louis chuckles, "Oh, God. Not this again. Damien, please. Cut me some slack." He dramatically sighs and slumps on his chair. Damien tapping his door and moving out, his laugh echoing in the air.

 

"I really love this office now." Louis piped. His back is aching and his arse is burning from sitting for almost 8 hours today but the smile in his face is stuck on his face. They're walking through the hallway, ready to call it a day and all heading out to their respective cars.

"Even the long hours?" Damien raises his thick brows, puzzled.

"Yes," he gushed, feeling giddy from happiness. "That's why, thank you, for this opportunity." He touches Damien's arm and smiles. He gives him a smile back, they're almost out of the building when he spoke again. "You know that feeling of everything being new? New office, new friends, new me. Everything feels new somehow." He wants to twirl around and jump, maybe even kiss his officemate on the cheek.

Damien admires him quietly, assessing him with his eyes. "Just don't forget I'm your first new friend in your new life." He emphasizes.

"I won't, you silly. You're my first new friend, I promise." He beamed.

"You know, you sound just like me three months ago. It's a very exciting time but at the end of the day, even though some things have changed, some things also still remain the same. So don't forget the old you, Louis." Damien says softly and Louis takes a peek at him, still high from happiness as he nods and rolls his eyes. "C'mon I'll give you a ride home, I know you haven't got your car with you." 

Louis bites his cheek. "Actually, I still have somewhere to go to." He says hesitantly and considers for a moment. "Do you want to come with me?" he blurted out.

"Sure, why not." Damien shrugs. Arriving at his car, he opens the door for Louis. "So, where to?" he addressed, backing up his parking space.

"You're about to meet my friends." he chimed in gleefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damien Cham is Middle Eastern btw :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took soooo long. This one's just a short filler. Hope you guys like it :)

"Louis!" Perrie shrieks when she spots Louis at the entrance of the large restaurant door. She runs to him and hurriedly wraps her arms around his shoulders.

"Pez," he hugs back just as hard, her sweet smelling perfurme infiltrating his senses. "I've missed you so much." He mumbles in her soft blonde hair. When they pull apart, he glances at his side and drags Damien towards him, Perrie's eyes widening and looking at him suspiciously. 

"This is Damien, my officemate." He points to the taller guy beside him. "And, Damien, this is Perrie, my ever dramatic friend."

Perrie feigns being insulted, putting her hands on her hips and playfully rolling her eyes, she laughs and offers her hand to Damien. "Nice to meet you, I hope Louis didn't blow your ears off?" Louis gasps and covers her mouth with his hands, both of them trying to knock each other off.

Damien chuckles, "Well my left ear is kind of having some problems right now, so." Perrie's cackles.

"Oh, I hate you both." Louis pouts.

"C'mon, let's go in." Perrie speaks after recovering from her little fit of laughter.

Damien raises his brows. "No, I was actually just dropping him off." He lies, suddenly very nervous about meeting Louis' friends.

Perrie rolls her eyes playfully. "None of that, c'mon. I insist." She cheerfully says.

Louis grabs his arm, beaming at him. "Please, so you can meet the people in my old life." He cheekily says. Damien seems to be hesitating, he sighs and rolls his eyes at him. "You'll love the food, trust me."

 

"Louis William Tomlinson!" Niall shouts as soon as he sees Louis, Barbara sprinting towards him and hugging his small form. Liam and Zayn both give him welcoming hugs and they tell him how much they missed him as well. He beams at them, his whole body feeling warm from seeing all his friends again after such a long time.

He recalls that Damien is next to him, he clutches him by the arm and pulls him forward. "Uhm, guys. This is Damien by the way, my officemate from my new job." He tells him all gleefully, he introduces each one of them to Damien who accepts their warm welcomes despite being uneasy and shy. They all take their seats in the table, the conversation flowing around them comfortably.

Perrie goes in perplexed, Harry's here." She tells the room. Louis sits, frozen and wide eyed. She turns to him, apologetic. "I'm so sorry, Lou, I didn't know." She winces.

"No, it's fine." He tries to say calmly. A small part of him is actually curious and excited to see Harry again after their break up. He hopes they can act civil towards each other and become friends again as he doesn't want to completely erase him from his life. Damien glances at his state, confused. Louis gives him a reassuring smile and a tap on the shoulder.

"He's probably gonna make a scene." Barbara speaks from her side on the table.

Louis grabs one of the breadsticks on the table and tells her, "No, he's not. I know him." He says confidently, though he's a little anxious to see his reaction to Damien, he's hoping Harry doesn't make a fool out of himself tonight.

"Harry, hey!" He hears Liam. "Glad you can make it, pal." Louis' heart rate picks up, his hands are suddenly sweaty, he tries to mask his nervousness by trying to act nonchalant. He bites his lip as Harry enters the room, his breath hitches when he sees him with his hair cut short. He is shocked and he can't take his eyes away from him, Harry always said he loved his long hair and had no plans in cutting it any time soon. He raises his brows at him, his cheek suddenly warm. 

"I hope I'm not late." Harry says, he heads for one of the chairs, still oblivious to the fact that Louis is there. 

Niall cackles, "Of course you're not. Just in time actually." He says as he puts the table napkin on his lap. The room suddenly awkward, all of them awaiting for their interaction.

When Harry looks up, their eyes meet. Harry stops in his tracks. A little smile forms on his face. "Lou?" He asks, surprised.

Louis' mouth gapes, he blinks a couple of times. Damien coughs beside him. "Oh." He mutters, "Harry, this is Damien, my officemate. Damien, this is Harry."

Harry's eyes slide towards the tall, buff and tanned man next to Louis, his heart sinking in his chest. He gulps as Damien offers him his hand. "Hi, mate." Damien says, a big smile on his face. Louis is biting his cheek hard as he stares down at his shoes. Harry offers Damien a polite smile back and a handshake, his brows furrowed as he slowly adjusts himself on the chair, alternating looking between Louis and Damien, a lot of questions running in his head. Louis can't even look him at the eye.

"Let's eat!" Liam declares.

Barbara taps the fork to her glass of wine. "And of course, Happy Anniversary to the cute couple. Our best wishes are with you all. Lets give a toast to Zayn and Liam!"

They all cheer then proceed to start eating. Harry keeps on stealing glances at the love of his life in fromt of him, that's when he notices how much Louis has changed and improved. His heart swells and it aches with his need to touch. Louis' hair has gotten softer, falling down his forehead as he cuts a piece of chicken in his plate. His eyes seemingly brighter even in the dim restaurant light, his aura has changed into a happy and cheerful man. Harry breathes deeply, he wants so much to reach out, his mind going crazy at seeing Louis again. God, he is still so in love with him. Undeniably so.

He sees Louis struggling with his chicken, his caring nature kicks in and he cuts one in his plate expertly, "Lou." He says as he places it on Louis' plate, all cut to his favorite parts without the crispy skin on.

Louis gives him a twinkling smile. "Thank you, Harry." He says kindly.

 

After dinner, as they're all eating desert, Barbara sits up and gives Zayn and Liam their first gift. "This one is from me and Niall, hope you like it." She winks. Liam blushing bright red as soon as they open the package, Zayn cackling beside him and kissing his blush away. The night goes on at that, all of them cheerful as they give away their presents.

"Hon, Louis has a gift for us." Zayn tells Liam as he grabs a medium sized box on the floor. "I saved the best for last." And Louis giggles at them, telling them to 'shut up' with pink cheeks and covering his face in Damien's shoulder. Harry's piercing gaze on them goes unnoticed.

They unwrap it and pull out two matching shirts with intricate designs and colorful patterns, they coo when they see the words written on it. "Aww, Lou. No wonder your shirts are big hits." Liam says light heartedly, a huge smile on his face. They both give him hugs, Louis' blushing form giggling at them.

"If they're such big hits, then why did he go back to being an architect?" Harry tells the room for the first time after dinner, his tone bitter as he gives Louis a glaring look. Everyone staying silent, the room suddenly fills with tension as Louis stares back at him.

"Why? Is there something wrong with it?" Louis replies softly, caught off guard at Harry's behavior.

"Nothing wrong with that. I just thought that wasn't your dream anymore." He raises his eyebrows at him, he has been drinking all throughout dinner, he hoped it would've helped him unsee what's in front of his eyes, his heart feeling as if his blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat with the constant reminder of what once was his in front of him. "You wanted something else, right?" Harry slurs, his hand waving as he knocks over a drink, eyes blinking a couple of times like things will actually make sense in his head. He pushes back the chair, stumbling. "Is that your new boyfriend then?" He nods at the direction of Damien, Louis glaring at his ridiculousness.

"Guess what, guys! Barbara's pregnant." Perrie addresses them as she tries to steer the attention away. They all look at Barbara with shock, all exclaiming their congratulations at her.

"Congratulations!" Harry shouts, stumbling on his feet as he balances himself on his chair. "I'll be the godfather!" He mumbles out. Niall tries to grab him but he slaps him away as he walks towards where Louis and Damien are.

"Guys, I think we should congratulate Louis too." Barbara adds. "For his new job and for his improvement." She offers him a tiny grin, Louis blushing as everyone tells him so. Damien smiling down proudly at him as Louis tells everyone to stop.

Harry raises his beer up, "Congratulations, Louis!" He spits out, balancing his hands on the edge of the table. "You've finally found someone to replace me!" He gulps it all in one go, letting the alcohol sip through his body carelessly. "Let's toast to that, Niall. Cheers!" He says as he grabs another bottle. He doesn't see the hurt etched on Louis' face or the disappointment.

"Harry, that's enough." Barbara declares, grabbing the beer off his hands as Niall and Liam try to take him away from the table to bring him outside. Louis stares up at Damien and mumbles a 'sorry' to which he shakes his head down at Louis, holding his hand for comfort. "Let's talk about this outside, okay?" Barbara tries to console Harry, he shrugs Niall and Liam's hands off his body, he steps forward to speak to Louis.

"Haven't you heard of the three month rule?!" He exclaims drunkily, his eyes watering at the sight of his ex boyfriend, nausea swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach. His head swam with half-formed regrets. His heartache was was like a wolf eating at his chest, tearing it's way to his trembling heart. It threatened to devour him, eat him whole and leave nothing but scraps behind. But he refused to be the scraps Louis would leave behind. 

Louis stares at him longingly, his hand holding Damien's for dear life. It hurt him seeing Harry like this, but what hurt him the most is the pure and utter shattering of himself shining in his eyes. The hurt he felt for Harry was like a red hot coal placed in his chest, it glowed and burnt him at the same time, but it did not cool quickly like a coal in water, it throbbed and tortured him and there was no relief to be found.

"Everyone who has ever fallen in love and broken up knows that!" Harry continues, heart blooded on his chest, he wipes his tired eyes with his arms. He's breathing eratically, unmindful of what he looks like in everyone's watchful eyes. His insides felt as raw as if a winter wind was blowing right through his skin. The last conversation he had with Louis haunted him, taunting his mind, replaying like an echo. "You have to let three months pass first before you find another boyfriend." He cries. "Do you not know that?"

Liam grabs Harry's arm, trying to push him outside, his drunk body swaying as he tries to stand properly. "I'm not done yet, Liam." He growls.

He meets Louis' eyes, pleading, his body a mess, his emotions a mess. He aches for his Louis back. The heartache he feels is encasing his heart in a cage like it keeps a tropical bird. His heart longed to fly again, to stretch it's wings and soar, and see the vast possibilities of life laid out before him. But it stayed locked up in it's frozen prison, afraid to pick the lock or try to break the bars as he longs for his first love before him. "I still have two weeks left.......why are you such in a hurry to replace me, huh?"

Louis stares at him dumbfounded. He can't bear to look at how much of a mess Harry is, but he is left disappointed. He can't believe he hasn't changed one bit. He wanted this to be a time for themselves but this has turned Harry into shambles. "Harry, that's enough." He tells him acquiescently. 

"Let's go outside, Harry." Niall stresses, Harry walks towards Louis, trying to come close to him. 

Louis flinches when Harry has taken hold of his arm, steering away from him and hiding behind Damien. "Harry, please, that's enough." Louis says as he hasn't stopped chasing his warmth, he doesn't want to be near him tonight.

Damien interjects when Harry starts to become too rough, Louis begging him to stop as he feels himself cry. "Hey, I don't want trouble. Stop it." He tells him assertively, blocking Louis from him.

Harry brings his red and glazed eyes up to Damien's, "You may be bigger than me, but you can't put me down!" He exclaims angrily as he pushes at Damien's chest. 

"Harry, stop! Just go home!" Louis shrieks, his blue eyes gleaming with tears, Damien holding on to him as he cries in his arms.

"I did everything!" Harry wails. "Everything!" He breathes hard through his nose, his face wet from tears and red from exertion. He feels like an insatiable fire burnt all the oxygen in his body, leaving him listless and empty. "What else do you want me to do, Louis?!" He falls to his knees in front of them, his tears overflowing on his face. Harry bends forward where he sat on the floor and presses his palms to the cold conrete as he continues to cry. He looks up at Louis, trembling in Damien's arms. "Are you really that heartless?" He whispers.

They gaze into each others tear filled eyes, Louis' hand twitching, aching to touch as Harry breaks down in front of him. He wants to bundle him up in his arms and say 'sorry' he sees his friends' faces, with sadness and anguish written all over them. He glances down at Harry one last time, the walls that make him strong, that hold him up wants to collapse.

"I love you so much, Louis. And it hurts too much."


	4. Chapter 4

In the blinding light of the August afternoon, the pond is like a semi-molten mirror. Louis can feel its coolness even before he flicks it with his hand, sending droplets scattering over the surface like rain. Its depth is deceptive, mostly because it is as clear as a mountain spring. He peeks at the other side of the park, the heat bouncing off the streets, and causes an illusion of wavering images. The muggy heat is pressing in on him, his sweat trickling down his neck and back like warm soup. His hair clings to his head like a thermal blanket as it locks in the heat, and fries his brain. He can feel his loose shirt cling into his back and he winces.

"Let's go babe, it's getting too hot." Damien tells him, he holds the grocery bags in his arms, his sunglasses perched on his nose. His white shirt sticks on his body as the heat overtakes him.

Today is a Saturday, they have the weekend free until Monday. Which turned to them planning to spend it camped inside Damien's apartment, the idea of heading outside and sweating themselves to death sounded so unappealing. The huge amount of food and various selection of movies awaiting them at home is more exciting.

Louis stands up from his crouch on the pond, he jiggles the keys in his hands as he wipes off the sweat on his forehead. "Sure, babe." They walk off hand in hand, occasionally laughing as they tell each other their day at work. 

It's been over a year since the spectacle at the restaurant, both Louis and Harry have never communicated again after that. Louis was deeply affected by it, he had cried for days in his apartment, he never went outside and he ignored all the calls and texts from his friends. His heart was shattered as he thought he was person responsible for making Harry lose himself. His friends tried tell him otherwise when they forced themselves into his apartment, as they said it was all Harry's for allowing himself to spiral out of control, but sometimes it's hard for him to believe, though he tries. 

Damien never left Louis' side all throughout his demise, he's grateful that there was someone there for him, that he had a rock. He bought Louis food, his favorite flowers, and tried as best as he can to cheer him up. He even took absences at work so he could spend more time with Louis' presence. As time went by, they found themselves falling into each other's lives. Louis was uncertain at first, he was afraid he was moving too fast with him. He didn't want to jump into another relationship that early as he was just halfway to recovering from his last one. But Damien was so patient with him, he never pushed for more or demanded things from him.

Another year passed by and soon, they found themselves dating. Damien and him shared their first ever kiss under a canopy of luminous stars materialized amongst an ocean of blackness. Some were dull, merely flickering into existence every now and then, but there was an adequate amount of shimmering stars to illuminate the dark, moonless night. Louis never felt that special in a long time, he couldn't resist saying no to the sweet boy next to him asking him if they could be exclusive, his favorite pink daisies in Damien's hand.

When they arrive at the apartment, the taller man hurriedly runs to the bathroom to pee, he pets his corgi, Sylvia, on his way there. Leaving Louis to unpack the groceries in the kitchen counter by himself. He hums as he arranges them, his mind suddenly drifting to his old flame. Sometimes he can't help but think of Harry, though he admits he doesn't want to come face to face with him anytime soon, he does miss him. The urge to run back to his life and breathe him in again always nags at the back of his head, he shakes that thought out though. He can never come back to that toxic part of his life right now, not until Harry keeps losing himself and dragging him down with him. He still cares for him, and he always wonders how the younger man is.

"Babe." 

Louis hears Damien's voice coming close. His eyes softening as soon as he sees his small boyfriend in the kitchen. Damien caresses his face and brings their lips together. Swaying their body to the tune playing out on the living room. It's times like this that Louis feels ridiculous for even having those thoughts about his ex lover. When he has a sweet, caring, and understanding man before him. He smiles through Damien's shirt, looking up at him through his eyelashes as he smashes their lips once again.

Later that night, he lays on top of Damien's chest, both coming down from their high. He covers his aching arse with the blanket and kisses Damien. "You're so beautiful, Lou." He admonishes, "I'm so thankful to have you in my life." Fingers drumming a tune on Louis' back, he blushes, as if he just wasn't being pounded into the bed and begging Damien to go harder.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you." He tells the man below him, yawning as sleep finally welcomes him in.

Damien exhales happily, laying Louis down comfortably beside him as he brings the covers up to their bodies. "Good night, my angel." He whispers. Louis falls asleep feeling safe in Damien's arms as he wraps it around his smaller frame.

 

Hey, Haz. How are you?" Niall remarks, voice soft as he hugs Harry as tight as he can. He has gone ghost to his friends for months, a year at most. He feels guilty for it, but he had to start sorting himself out somehow. He moved out of Niall and Barbara's apartment a few days after the scene at the restaurant. He lay on bed that night with a new found sense of self and decided that it was about time he finally got his shit together. He left the next day, only leaving a note for his friends to read. He kind of feels shitty for leaving them all confused, and he's glad that he was able to contact Niall again.

They both head down towards the back of a bar that's close to Harry's apartment which he frequented most of the time these past few months. Opting to bring Niall here, to show him the new life he's been living. It's less crowded today, the calming voice of the male singer on the stage crooning in the background.

He clears his throat as the waiter serves them their beer and food. "I'm doing good, I guess." He says as he picks at his fries. "How's Perrie?" He avoids eye contact, his palms sweaty. "How about Zayn and Liam? Are they all still pissed at me?" He questions nervously.

Niall halts with the chips halfway through his mouth. "Don't be ridiculous, Harry." He says incredulously. "They were never mad at you." He adds gingerly and shakes his head. Peeping at Harry's form and his choice of clothes. "You look good, by the way. It's really great to see you like this." His voice gentle.

Harry smiles at him bashfully. "Well. I have to start somewhere, don't I." He looks up at his friend, who he catches staring at him, a loopsided grin on his face. They both cackle at the same time. The tension finally dissipating between them and Harry feels himself relax. They end up talking all night, Harry catching up on all the things he missed with his friends and Niall gladly reiterating everything to him. 

Five hours later, they come out stumbling at the bar, more in Niall's case but that's besides the point. He fumbles for his phone in his pocket and hands it out to Harry. "Now that I found you, you can't miss dinner on Friday. Give me your number." He slurs out. Harry tapping it on his phone and bidding Niall goodbye after, grunting as he helps his drunk body get inside the taxi, calling his address out to the driver. He fixes his hair as he watches the car zoom out of his eye field.

He turns to walk back to his apartment, he hugs his coat to his body in the silent alley. This is why he likes the night time, it hides his flaws, his imperfections, the scars burned onto his flesh, the stabs of knives left behind. The moon guides him through the night. Her calming presence makes him slowly close his eyes, his body quietly switching off; but she lets his soul run free.

He opens the door to his apartment as he arrives, he sees things strewn all over the place, the dishes are left in the sink, and the green teddy sitting on one of his shelves. A constant reminder of what once shattered him to pieces but now, as he stares at it, it gives him hope and acceptance. He doesn't know what he's wishing for but he hopes, somehow, he gets a chance.

His room depicts an obscure cavern of brimming darkness, which was not abnormal to Harry. It's a calming place for him where he imagines the stars meet after they have shone all night for the nocturnal dwellers basking around in the night serenity.

He removes his clothes one by one, not even bothering to turn the lights on as he heads to bed face first. Ignoring the incessant ringing of his phone, who he surely knows who. He'll take care of it later.

 

"Oh my God!" Barbara shrieks. "She does have the same haircut as Louis." She mouths increduously as she inspects the photo on the phone, she refrains herself from howling in laughter at the woman in the screen.

Perrie hastily grabs it away from her hand, staring at the photo on the screen as well. "Hmm. She does kind of look like a mini Louis." She tilts her head.

"Can I see?" Zayn says on his perch from the couch, cigarette dangling on his amused lips. "Oh." He snickers as he returns the phone to Perrie. "This should be interesting."

"Ow!" Louis giggles as Damien sucks on his neck a little too hard. His socked feet swinging on the floor as he sits on the taller man's lap.

"Ssh," Damien nibbles on the softest part of his neck, hands gripping Louis' waist, "you don't want Barbara to hear us again." He starts to plant kisses on his neck, Louis' hands tangling in his hair as he pants above him.

"Babe," he says breathlessly after a few minutes. He removes Damien from his neck giggling, "we have plenty of time for this at home, alright?" He draws his lower lip between his teeth.

"Okay, okay." Damien admonishes, his eyes glinting, he removes his hand from Louis as he extracts himself. He watches him put on his shoes delicately.

Louis kisses him one last time before he heads out to the others in the living room. "Finish folding those shirts for me please, and thank you." He says without looking back. Damien ogling his arse as he sways his hips outside.

 

"—if she's sexy." Niall states as he holds the phone in his hands, Liam attempting to grab it from him while Niall steers it away.

"Honey. What the fuck?!" Barbara yells, sending daggers in Niall's way.

"Oh. She is hot, man." Liam declares. Zayn kicks him on his shin. "Ouch. What was that for?" 

"What's that?" Louis remarks, eyebrows raised as he eyes the phone questioningly. All eyes turn to him at once. "What are you guys up to?" Eyes squinting at his friends.

Perrie jumps on her seat. "Oh, hey Louis!" she grins at him maniacally, he eyes her suspiciously, he raises his eyebrows at her sudden weird behavior.

"It's Zayn and I's sex tape." Liam inserts rapidly, rubbing his shin from Zayn's foot. "You know. You don't wanna watch that." He retorts, laughing nervously. Zayn whacks him in the head.

Louis snatches the phone from Niall, his face impassive as he comes face to face with a picture of Harry, there's a short haired woman next to him. "Harry looks good." He mentions casually, his eyes roaming around his face. He does look different, better even. "Who's the girl in the photo?" He looks up, smiling. No one answers him, he laughs as none of them gave out an answer. "What? Who is it?"

Barbara huffs out a breath. "Well there's no point in lying, is it." Louis furrows his brows, confused. "That's Harry's new 'baby'." She answers, putting up air quotes.

Louis blinks a couple of times, his heart doing a staccato rhythm in his chest. He stays frozen in his spot as he glances at the photo one more time. That's when he notices Harry's arm on the woman's hips and her hand resting on his knee, red nails prominent in the flash of the camera. He gulps as he returns the phone to Niall. He tries to keep a straight face, the memory of the picture etched on his mind.

"Are you okay, Lou?" Perrie questions.

He snaps himself out of his stupor. "Hm? What? Of course, I am." He chuckles emptily. He hopes they don't see he's shaking, that his heart is beating wildly in his chest. "I'm glad that he's finally moved on." He tacks at the end as he gives Perrie a reassuring smile. He tries to convince himself that he believes it.

"You've all heard that!" Niall chimes in. "That means Harry can come with us on the next dinner." Louis half listens to them chatter, he stays stuck in his position on the middle of the room, his lips turn downward as he lets himself ponder on the situation. He scratches his neck slowly, he can't help but think about Harry and his irrational feelings towards seeing him with another person. He should be happy for him, he should be ecstatic because this is what he always wanted for Harry. He huffs, frustrated at himself.

He jumps in surprise as Damien wraps his arms behind him, he turns to him a smile slipping on face. Damien rests his head on Louis' shoulder, his lips kissing the sensitive spot in his ear and he closes his eyes. Louis stifles his laugh in Damien's shirt as he moves around to hug him back. He opens his eyes as the taller man plants a kiss on his forehead.

 

"Aunt Marie!" Harry gestures wildly. "It's been so long. How's Spain?" He asks his 57 year old grandmother, looking stunning in her red ensemble paired with her red lips, her floral perfume invading Harry's nostrils as they embrace each other, her expensive jewelry gleaming in the sunlight as she moves.

"Absolutely grand." She waves her hands in the air, sitting on the golden couch of her living room. "I think I might have jetlag." She mutters dramatically, as she fans herself with her handkerchief. 

Harry snorts. He takes a seat next to her and sips the tea prepared for him, waiting for her next move. She abruptly stands up as she remembers something and heads to the other room. "Come on, darling. I remember I have bought loads of gifts for all of you." She disappears to the next room, Harry can hear her calling her other grandchildren to join. He shakes his head, smiling.

He comes in a few minutes after he finishes his tea to see his aunt handing out gifts to his cousins, all of them squealing from happiness. She sits at the center of the cramped room, her grandchildren surrounding her and Harry can make out that she loves every bit of it. He can see their faces lighting up with laughter.

"Those are for you, Bernice." She hands out, not looking up from her pile. Her eyes flick up towards Harry when he enters the room, she looks visibly delighted as she hands him the next gift. "And these are for Louis." She smiles, red lipped and warm as ever. "Yours are in there as well. I just wrapped them together."

Harry chuckles, a bittersweet smile on his face as he accepts the gifts on his hand. Him and Louis haven't spoken to each other, let alone see eye to eye for a god knows how long. He leans on the wall beside him, opting to stay quiet.

His Aunt seems to sense his change in mood. "What's wrong?" She asks puzzled. He shakes his head at her. "You don't like my gifts?." She ponders loudly, a teasing lilt to her voice.

"Not really, Auntie, it's just that," Harry starts, playing with the wrapper on his fingers, "I've got a girlfriend now. Her name's Rose." He tells his Aunt.

She stands, avoiding the clutter as she heads to him. She places her hands on his broad shoulders, squeezing, "Oh. How could I have not known sooner?" Her face falls but she quickly shakes her head to address him, "But I am glad to hear that, although, Harry," she looks down, lips turned down and brows furrowed, "Lucia and Mark might have to find another architect for the job." She purses her lips, fixing the lapels on his dress shirt. "Since Louis might not he able to." She sighs deeply, walking towards the table by the window as she pours herself some tea. Louis has always been her favorite, she always had a soft spot for the smaller man.

Harry's eyes snap up to her, he joins her at the table to watch her delicate fingers fix her tea. "A promise is a promise, Aunt Marie." He tells her. "I'll talk to him if I will." He insists.

She turns her body to his, eyes crinkling with mirth. "Oh, that is absolutely amazing, darling." She makes her way to the dinner area, her long flowy dress casting dancing shadows in the golden room, the light catching it perfectly, shining like glitter on the hardwood floor. "What do you want for dinner? Vista is cooking for us today." She emposes, voice high as she inspects the chinaware on the long table.

"I have a date later, actually." He mentions, plucking the white rose on the entrance by the curved door. "I have to get on her friends' good graces again. They keep saying she's committing emotional suicide by accepting me back." He ends with a grin.

She chuckles, a glass of tea perched daintily on her nimble fingers. "Is it not true though?" She asks, Harry squawking next to her. Their laughter fills the empty room as the kids play outside. Their screeches mixing with their lilting voices, making the atmosphere warm and inviting. He smiles as he kisses them all goodbye, and he thinks as he passes by the busy city, he might be okay after all. Louis loves shopping. He loves the perfumed, air conditioned mall. He basks in the attention of the sales staff and pawed over different fabrics and textures. The garments he brought home would often never be worn or maybe worn once. He was, as you could say, a shop-a-holic. It was a compulsion to him. His eyes twinkling as he remembers the long lectures Harry would give him after he sees Louis carrying bags upon bags of clothing. He runs his hand along the belt rack, listening to them jingle at the buckles. He watches them move back and forth, independent of each other but bound to the same shiny rod of chrome. Damien is at the Dentist, Louis couldn't be arsed to stay so he thought he might do a little shopping for himself, it's been so long since he did this after all. His eye was fixed on a brown leather belt with a distressed look that was entirely genuine - quite unlike the jeans with fashionable holes in them in the other stores. He fingers the top, smooth, silky, like suede. Over the top was an impression of leaves on a vine. The colour was more truffle than chocolate. His fingers pause when he hears a familiar voice call his name from behind. He turns to the sound.

"Aunt Lucia?" He exclaims, delighted. The middle aged woman smiling hugely at his presence. They share hugs, giggling.

She extends her arms, she puts her hands on his shoulder. "Oh my, you look so lovely, Louis." She says as she scans her eyes all over his body, Louis goes scarlet in the face. "It's such a shame that my nephew let you go." She glowered.

Louis wrinkles his nose at her, ignoring her sentiment. "Congratulations on the wedding, by the way." He changes the subject, but genuinely ecstatic for her. "I'm so happy for you and Uncle Mark." She blushes at his admonition, swatting his arm playfully. "You know I'm always here for that promise, Aunt Lucia." He beams at her.

"I hope it's not a bother though." She nibbles her bottom lip.

Louis scrunches his whole face. "There's no problem with me. As long as he agrees." He clutches the belt in his hands, it's metal bar tinkling with his shoulder bag.

"Of course it's okay with him, it's Harry." Louis doesn't even know what to think of that.

 

Harry rubs the petals of the dandelion between his fingers, he watches his skin take on the sunny hue. He looks like he spent the afternoon painting instead of lying on his back in the back porch - perfecting the art of emptying his head. In the distance there was traffic, but far away enough not to bother him. He closed his eyes and drew in a lung full of air. He let the sound of the busy street fill his ears. He hears the door to his apartment open, someone letting themselves in the room and he opens his eyes.

"Hi." Rose says as she peers down at him. The wind blows out her skirt, giving Harry a perfect view of her legs down on the floor. Her black lace panties peeking from underneath. She brightens when Harry stands to give her a kiss.

"Hi." He stretches the muscles in his back. "I thought we were going to meet each other later." He pecks her on the lips again as he walks to the fridge.

She arranges herself on the sofa, turning the TV on and scrolling through the channels. "Don't you have dinner with Niall?" She settles on a rerun of America's Next Top Model.

Harry shrugs, placing two beers on the small crystal table next to the sofa. "But it's Thursday." She reminds himz

A line appears on his brows. "And what is Thursday for?" He grabs the remote from her, scrolling.

She looks at him blankly. "It's music day. Remember." Harry actually doesn't. But he keeps his mouth shut.

He pouts, he brings the beer back to the table as he loops his arms around her. "But can't it be another Harry day?" He flutters his eyelashes then kisses her sweetly. 

Rose and Harry met each other near the bar he often frequents at, he would go there on of his lonely nights, which was on most days if he was honest to himself. Rose was one of the performers on stage every time he was at the bar. She ended up approaching him first, telling him that she had her eyes on him for quite a while now. Rose gave him company for the upcoming months that he isolated himself from his old life. They had fun, got drunk, and she would sometimes go home with him the nights after. Harry didn't know he could have more than sex and a constant companion with her and soon before he even knew it, six months later, she moved in with him. That was a year ago.

"H, I also have to give some importance to my music." She squirms.

He buries his face in her neck, smelling her sweet candy scent. "But I want you to be there." He holds her hips more tightly and arranges them until she's on his lap. "I want to introduce you properly to my friends."

Her whole face turns blank, she settles her eyes on the opposite wall. "I'm sure you can do it by yourself." She murmurs.

He squeezes his eyes shut, letting her go so he can flop his head on the couch behind him, his arms limp on his sides. "Sooner or later you'll have to face them." His brow wrinkles.

She withdraws herself from him to grasp the folded paper by the counter. She hands it out to Harry. "Since you're here already. Let me show you this," his forehead creases as he examines the words on the paper, "I wrote that for you." She orates animatedly, gauging his reaction.

Harry chews on his bottom lip as he reads the lines.

/I love you and I will tell you everyday  
Everyday until you forget  
The things that hurt  
I hate the things that make you hurt  
And how I wish I could take them away  
If only it could be done  
I'd do it for sure/

He gulps as she gazes into his eyes, the corners of her mouth turning up. "Those are just the lyrics." She tells him softly, removing the paper in his hands and folding it slowly. "I'm saving the melody for our next monthsary." Harry's brows drew in together as he takes in her smiling demeanor. She jumps into his arms and plants kisses all over his face. Harry forcing out a chuckle at her eagerness. "Happy Anniversary!" She yells. "It's our third month together, big boy." She winks at him, waiting. Her eyes widened as Harry keeps staring at her blankly. "You forgot, didn't you." She slumps down, rolling her eyes as she crosses her arms in front of her chest, disappointed.

His mouth falls open, arms slack by his sides. "Harry!" She adds, affronted.

Rose gets off him as she stomps her way to their room, banging the door as she does. He stays in his seat, jaw clenched as he breathes hard and glares at the green teddy on his right. He can feel his eyes welling up, Louis' name at the tip of his tongue. He's better but he thought he had moved on, his old lover still holding a burn in his chest. He really tries, and he is still trying. Harry knows it's been almost three years since they've gone on their separate ways, but he can't help but be affected by it sometimes. He feels guilty that Rose has to suffer with him, he always feels sorry for her. He didn't expect that she would fall for him, when all he wanted was something different. He exhales deeply as begrudgingly stands up to follow her to their room.

 

Louis looks up from his perch on the floor, Sylvia barking happily on his feet. Damien rushing to him after he drops his bags on the floor, Louis scrunching his nose at him. "Babe, what did I tell you about your bags." He huffs after their kiss.

Damien snorts in the kitchen. "Hey, babe. Guess what?" He delivers, toast bread on his mouth. He sits beside Louis who is now in the couch, his legs stretched out.

"What?" He says monotonely, flipping through the magazine on his hand.

"Me and Harry saw each other at Tesco's." He brings the cup of coffee to his mouth, Louis tilts his head at him, eyebrows raised. He wraps an arm around Louis' head, planting a feather light kiss on his hair. "Don't worry, he didn't shout at me or anything." He sniggers. "He was so nice and friendly. He even gave me a hug."

Louis hums, he grabs Damien's coffee and takes a sip for himself. He hasn't spoken a word to Harry for years, no calls and no texts. He disappeared from them for a few months, a year at most and though he hears his name from his friends here and there, there's still no contact between them. 

"Maybe he's okay now." Damien breaks his thoughts, staring down at from.

"He's okay.....as in, he's not mad at me anymore?" He asks reluctantly. "Do you think?"

Damien buries his snickers in Louis' brown feathery hair, deeply endeared by his boyfriend's wide blue eyes. "Okay that he's probably accepted that you're not getting back together, ever." He enunciates proudly. 

He feels bad that his heart actually drops at that, he doesn't understand why he still cares. "Maybe he's moved on now." He swallows the lump in his throat, a small smile plastered on his face. "Good for him." He tilts his head up to his boyfriend, he captures his lips in a heated kiss as he climbs on his body. Maybe he wants to forget too.


End file.
